practice

This current project is going to take knowledge that I don't have yet, and I don't have the emotional well-being to fight through this to the end. Not right now at least.

Grief is a marathon, and I keep thinking that "I'm fine", but the truth is I'm not. I'm not full out depressed, but any obstacle I encounter in the art-making process becomes demoralizing and instantly lose the "umph" to keep working on the project. Losing "umph" is bound to happen in art-making - obstacles are inevitable - but I'm just not emotionally capable of mustering the "umph" to overcome these things. It's really hard to admit this to myself, but it's true.

Ugh. It's frustrating, because I feel schizophrenic. I keep looking for an art project to restart my practice, but nothing quite works. And so, I bounce around from idea to idea, starting and restarting projects, but metaphorically I'm spinning my wheels and getting no where.

So, what am I going to do? I'm going to keep making, but I'm going to change my approach. I've been working in a very project oriented manner, which means I'm focused on the short term: develop project, make project, show project, repeat ad infinitum. This is how I made work in school, because that's how the work needed to be done. But that approach is not an art practice. An art practice is about the long run. It's about practice. It's about learning, repeating, and refining. How did I not make that connection before!? "Practice" is in the freaking term "art practice"!!! Approaching art as a series of projects doesn't give you time to refine and learn the nuances of your media. So, I'm going to use the skills that I already have and refine them. I'm NOT going to think about showing the work. I'm NOT giving myself deadlines. I'm going to practice.

experimentation

So, now I have this little guy:


Aww... isn't he cute!? But he's got some problems and his electronic innards don't quite fit correctly, so I'm makin' another one. It takes 2-3 days for the stuff to dry, so I must be patient. This is where I just need to keep experimenting until I figure out a technique that works.

is it tuesday yet?

one giant leap for my art practice

Behold! The awaited for supplies:


Steps two, three and four have already been done, but I forgot to document them in my enthusiasm. Heh. Fear not! Step five will commence on Tuesday or Wednesday, and I will be sure to post more pictures.

One small step for Laurel

I got some supplies, which means -gasp- that I spent money.

First, I got some alginate, which is the material dentists use to make impressions of your teeth. It is my new best friend. It's by far the BEST thing to use to make plaster copies of smallish things. Plus, it's completely safe to use on skin and biodegradable.

The other batch o' supplies is for a new art project that I'm really excited about. They've been ordered and are on their way. Yay! I can't wait!

Denied

I got three messages this week from potential employers that I didn't get the job, two of which came today, leaving my opportunities almost all but exhausted. Poopy. Maybe I should take this as a sign from heaven to do something else?

No really... I'm serious.

The fact of the matter is that I've been putting a lot of thing on hold until I have the security of a job and an income, like spending money on art supplies, or figuring out when I want to go to grad school... or... well, those are the two relevant things for this blog.

But I could just do them now, and not worry about money. Afterall:

Do not worry then, saying, `What will we eat?' or `What will we drink?' or `What will we wear for clothing?' [...] But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:31-34)

Now, the grumpy, skeptic part of me is thinking: "so, you're just going to sit around and wait for God to do everything for you, eh? Well, when your bank account runs dry, you'll know that you were wrong." Ah yes... encouraging as ever, grumpy skeptic part.

The answer is: No. I'm not just going to sit around. I'm going to do stuff, namely art stuff. I'm going to need to trust that God wants me to be making art, and He'll support me if I do it. Sure... I could be reading this situation completely wrong, but we'll find out, now, won't we?

I've learned in the past that making art takes faith - faith in myself, in the idea or art-piece - and now it I'm beginning to see that making art takes faith in God as well.

Here's to a new year!

Happy New year folks! Allow me to introduce:


My thoughts rarely stay neatly confined to a single genre or subject, so I thought I would allow myself to write down whatever I want whenever it comes to me, and see what happens. Those pesky free-range thoughts make it difficult to have a "themed" blog, as this is supposed to be. Honestly, I'm still figuring out what this blog is (or should be) in the grand scheme of things, but at least I'm still writing posts, which is better than my other short-lived blogging attempts.

So, here's to a New Year, new free-ranging thoughts, new books to write them in, and new blog posts!